Das war's... ... As good as, yes. Tomorrow I will start my journey home.
And now? It is complete chaos in the Anne of ideas and Gefuehlsuniversum. Joy and sadness turns in a windchill hour, it could also be half-hours or minutes. And yes also happened in between all sorts. Is able to take me's-grade not correct. Suddenly everything went very quickly.
What a year ...!
Finally I would like you extracts from the last three reports, which I had to send as part of my sending Weltwaerts IJGD should, could. These may give again a very good idea of what there is here in Vietnam later this year so everything happens with me ... (Starting with the last or most recent report)
Otherwise, I would like me to take this opportunity of all the loyal and hardworking (in my writing mania we become indeed 'n bissel longer required) bye blog readers first. Love you for your interest!
Maybe I log on at home again back, let's see how's feel ... I'll let you know.
Until then, Toi Tues nhe! - Bye! Literalness reads, I'm off times, yes? So then ...
love all last Greetings from Hanoi,
Anne
So, and now may again be read diligently ...
August report How satisfied are you overall with the volunteer service?
Kommentar:
Nein, ich moechte dieses Jahr nicht mehr missen, so anstrengend es doch bis zum Schluss auch immer wieder gewesen sein mag. Bin wirklich sehr traurig, dass es nun tatsaechlich zu Ende geht. Ich bin sehr reich geworden. Wenn ich daran denke: all die liebegewonnen Menschen und Orte, all das Erlebte, schoene wie traurige . Ich fuehle eine sehr tiefe emotionale Verbundenheit. So vieles, was man jetzt zurueck laesst…
Und doch bin ich irgendwo auch froh, wieder nach Hause zurueck zu kehren. Meine Kraefte scheinen total aufgebraucht. Weitere Monate unter den gegebenen Umstaenden, Konstellationen etc. waeren derzeit fuer mich nicht denkbar. Das Zusammenleben mit so vielen unterschiedlichen, staendig wechselnden Menschen, teilweise sehr starken Personalities with incredibly strong pursuits, which claim to rights and freedoms, which is only possible, the resulting homey chaos, and all the emotional, interpersonal wrangling and Gereibe, to my difficult project and is still vice-border major and minor cultural challenges all in a city like Hanoi: yes actually very charming and flairig, yet also loud, crowded, and terribly much luftverschmutzt.Puh! I'm looking forward to at home ... Maybe
again briefly on the situation in and around the volunteer house.
Basically, yes, a huge opportunity, the house. I mean, we're all coming from very different areas, as there are much to tell and share. And even so, the local life is actually also ne nice experience. Hm, but somehow ... very difficult to live together, sometimes ...
What I mean is to perceive a latent discontent among the volunteers. What they are dissatisfied? The life situation, the organization, work, etc. It is complained and bitched and demanded. But no one is something that carries something to the improvement, not really. The tendency to turn people off and give to other, nicer things flee to the travel and self-amusement. This one can quite well in Hanoi. You have to give up anything. .
Honestly, really rip open your ass, no one is doing here. (Please excuse my expression). It shows itself more like a dependent, light-life mentality. And just as does our house. Actually a very nice house, very well equipped. But it verloddert versuefft and more. No one felt responsible, not even for their own filth, the people feel responsible, let alone that of their friends and guests. There is chaos. Very, very bad ....
What our house so n bit lacking is a common thought, a common idea, a common faith to do what we, a cross-project-looking at each other. Does not exist. Everyone does his. At the end you are alone. In addition, a trend comes to the formation of groups by nationality, it is much fremdgesprachelt, sodas man sich mitunter etwas ausgeschlossen fuehlt.
Ich glaube, die Leute kommen teilweise mit voellig falschen, viel zu hohen Erwartungen hier her. Sie sind dann in ihrer ganzen Art zu kritisieren und argumentieren so selbstgefaellig und selbstgerecht, zeigen recht wenig kulturelles Verstaendnis und Feingefuehl. Das Problem ist: sie nehmen die Menschen hier oft nicht ernst, begegnen ihnen nicht auf Augenhoehe. So erscheint es mir zumindest. Und am Ende bleibt jeder fuer sich. Das ist sehr, sehr schade.
Und was auch sehr traurig ist, ist die Tatsache, dass wir internationale Freiwillige uns eigentlich die meiste Zeit oder ganz oft um uns selber drehen. Dieses Zusammenleben packt einen so, nimmt einen auch emotional arg in Beschlag, man sucht ja in dieser for all of us a little unusual situation even stop. It costs at least as much strength and energy, force and energy that is missing somewhere else, for the cultural adventure of all ... Sorry I missed the moment to jump and move to a host family. Yes, I very much regret. I would advise everyone's!
'm right at home I was in the volunteer house in any case not felt all year round. You just can not, feels in his home often so n bit like a stranger among strangers. Too restless to move the life therein. One feels sometimes like in a hotel, constantly come and go people to stay even longer, sometimes shorter, and not just volunteers. I once counted: the number of people with whom I have lived in this one year, both volunteers and also, amounts actually to almost 50 (!) And then the chaos ...
I must confess, so 100% I am also not satisfied with myself. failed in language learning, which is bitter and it hurts. I think I'm someone you systematic and structured introduction to the language needs that has to be by the hand. Well, anyway, and was communicated mostly in English, both within SJV and with the Vietnamese volunteers. And Na in the volunteer house anyway, with all the international people. Oh, I do not even want excuses, huh ... I also wished
, I would have in my project, perhaps even more involved, taken over more responsibility and perhaps one or the other idea had earlier. I was often up to the end and still a bit hesitantly. The pagoda is such a sensitive place and often I was not sure whether you want to have us there at all. 've Felt up to the last always a little bit like an intruder. It is indeed communicated so little. And you never know so 100% pure, what we really are. Still ... I wish
also, I would have maybe a little longer trying to practice the culture. Somehow there is the feeling, not to be done, as was missing a lot, as if it were's far enough ... I hope
however, that ... well ... I've tried my best, I think, I hope it was ...
As a parting gift's of the kiddies in the pagoda by the way have a nice, juicy mud eye. One might call it Bindehautentzuendung, a very persistent ... ;)
the work of your opinion, is reasonable?
Retrospect and basically I think that kindergarten children do all right. It is somewhat more stable, at least something that recurs, as an event, to which they rely so 'n some can. They have become quiet teiweise have opened themselves, to trust. Can be proud of it for us.
However, it remains problematic. We have tried and still try to give the kids routine, a bit of structure to provide them with basic rules for human interaction's to teach all essentiel living things. But the problem is: there is no continuity when the children leave the nursery. Since there are no rules, no structure, etc. No one who cares for the children really. You are then much further can be about yourself. This is for us always as' n kind of like starting from scratch each day.
Now I am at least their big sister. Chi Anne! Chi Anne! ", Chirped and quieckten them every morning as soon as they saw me approaching. Given me waved their little hands and Kinderaermchen already from a distance all excited and joyfully. And I had entered the kindergarten once, they let me go any more. Then I was to fax maker, Herumalberin, flowers and butterflies painter who Zwergenknuddlerin, the dwarf hash Erin, the nose and Popoputzerin that Traenentrocknerin that Bisswundenabpusterin, dispute mediator, and much more. You have accepted me, the children in the Bo De pagoda kindergarten have given me confidence, despite all the linguistic barriers. This is a very nice feeling. This left me feeling always come back and with this feeling I'm going to go home. So really improve
Change customer and, therefore, in the longer term, I can not their lives, have causes essentially no difference. Therefore, the situation is just too difficult. the problems too serious and too complex. The demands of professional people: psychologists, therapists, social work, social, etc. And this time was too short, in a country like Vietnam need these things above all time. All that I could give was more for the moment, here and now. That business was good for a moment to be there, pay attention, care, give a feeling of safety, security, yes ... But their life situation
genrelle ... so to be problematic, especially their health condition, about which we know nothing. We do not know what the children but you see it in them that they are ailing. We do not know what is taking place in medical treatment. Or even their mental state. I would even go so far as to say the children would need basically therapaeutische treatment, correct professional care.
This project presents us with so many serious problems, the SJV and his volunteers basically is not able to handle. It is shown here: SJV is a voluntary organization, not a charity. There are no resources, capacities, skills, experiences. Of course it is nice to send volunteers there that deal with the kids, play with them. This does not hurt the kids and doing well. It is hard but under the given incredibly difficult conditions, one can also quickly once its limits, sometimes even feels overwhelmed sometimes. It would have done so much more, really important things. Networking would be good to team up with other relief organizations right to something for the longer term but long term, to supervise the children. Now I remember that I would have loss since starting up even slightly longer, groups, organizations, of which there are not so few in Hanoi PERMIT contact. Why I am not come before it ...?
If you are over come such a long period of time to this place ... The fate of the children touched a then of course, you take it home with you. Yes, things take time. But: how much time the children? I know there are probably many, many such places ... And the communication is also so difficult. The place where the pagoda and all the things that happen there, have revealed to me after the long period is still not entirely. They know it never really allowed to go as far as one if one does not penetrate here and there somewhere.
endeavor, in reason, so everyone already so good it's just ...
Did you feel that you learn while volunteering some of your own culture / your cultural identity?
if so, what?
General: How much it shapes a culture, the personality, the identity of a people ein so wesentlicher Teil davon ist. Sie laesst sich nicht einfach ablegen. Genausowenig wie man sich eine andere Kultur einfach so anziehen und wieder ausziehen kann wie einen Mantel.
Wie sehr in einem anderen Kontext doch die gewohnten Normen ihre Gueltigkeit verlieren, wie sich Kategorien wie "richtig" und "falsch" ein Stueck weit aufloesen.
Wir Europaeer, vor allem auch wir Deutsche denken doch sehr stark in Kategorien und behaupten auch gerne ihre universelle Gueltigkeit, sind dann erstaunt, entruestet, wenn sich die Lage, wo auch immer, ploetzlich ganz anders darstellt. Man muss frueher oder spaeter einfach einsehen, dass man sich mit europaeischen Denkweisen Probleme konstruieren kann, die fuer die Menschen hier so ueberhaupt nicht bestehen. I've seen quite often with other volunteers and also with myself.
Are there things (behaviors, attitudes, etc.) that you have learned from the host culture, or want to learn?
if so, what?
history and Kultur-/Traditionsbewusstsein, Gemeinschaftsgefuehl, tireless, reconciliation
-What are your experience - the most common points of conflict between your culture and host culture?
communication / information, organization, structure, planning
What has been your most important experience in voluntary service
In the last three months:
- I did it! 'm Proud as Bolle!
- something like Everyday, familiar with places and people move, sovereign itself (now I know of Hanoi as well as Berlin), neighborly relations, people recognize me, responding to greet me, myself, have accepted me
- still have patience, understanding for all what is different and slower
- "! Chi Chi Anne Anne", now I'm her big sister. have children in kindergarten pagodas, taken by the Trust and accepted me, despite the language barrier ...
- yes, it's possible without language, somehow, but will it? where one is still here, and that for so long? Have failed, that's bitter!
- see: SJ Vietnam is "just" a volunteer organization, no organization
Human see, not nationalities that fall from the play together, no matter the end stehht man ....
- to feel torn between two cultures
- looking forward to at home, almost childlike
- but also a bissel fears of uncertainty: What will be? Who will be? What will come, professionally, in particular?
- the feeling of sadness, like me, it's all very close to my heart! It is missing everything.
- be the feeling of standing still at the beginning, dipped not even really that there's not enough that there is not enough, what is learned can be experienced, understood, understood, because there would be still so much more ... Probably we are constantly at the beginning.
- ... and again and again, being human, are fallible ...
- rain, so incredibly hard and loud to all! Never heard of. A beautiful, beautiful noises ...
you believe, your stay will affect ...
a) ... your personal development?
type of impact:
Like last time ... always ran a little closer to yourself, you will be here at any rate true so incredibly intense, is so incredibly sensitive, I know my limits, accept me, I confess things a Perhaps in the end am honest with myself, I am learning to organize themselves to improvise, "not" still makes inventive, as the ideas suddenly gushing ...
This year seems like in one long conversation with myself and you just have to say again and again: the battle against himself is a lost battle, in every way ...
b) ... your future plans?
type of impact:
remains: the desire to discover more of the world and to learn, work: (!) In development cooperation, possibly abroad
In any case, come back, there are so many reasons ...
A strange curiosity about my own country was awakened to discover an urge there and explore. Which I will pursue, where I've seen yet so little from the land of the ich stamme.Ueberhaupt von dem, was einen so unmittelbar umgibt, auch in Europa. Bevor also wieder aus weiter Ferne, ersteinmal aus naechster Naehe. Eventuell noch einen Freiwilligendienst in einem europaeischen Land…
Mai-Bericht Wie zufrieden bist du mit dem Freiwilligendienst insgesamt?
Kommentar:
Aus kultureller Sicht und auch aus persoenlicher Sicht finde ich die Zeit hier nach wie vor unglaublich bereichernd. Und die Momente, in denen ich es nicht fassen kann, dass ich tatsaechlich hier bin, die gibt es auch immernoch, obwohl's jetzt schon neun Monate sind.Ich moechte dieses Jahr auf keinen Fall mehr missen.Obwohl das ganze schon auch so ner kleinen Berg- und Talbahnfahrt gleicht. Eine only major challenge. Said yes even in the run-up, no one here that would be easy. Daily life
sashayed. The Vietnamesischlernen so.Das not live together in the volunteer house: difficult. It has even today not well chosen, and therein lies the Challenger. Because sometimes take so very strong and very different individuals together with very strong needs and very strong feelings. As is demanded of Rights and Freedoms, which is only. Everyone does what he wants, more or less, without consideration for losses. Very straight and strenuous in the long run. Usually live in the volunteer house 10-14 people. Right now we are 10th Only times as mentioned. I try as good as it is to stay outside, I manage but not always, because it was also all sorts Redebeduerfnisse and you will also often acts as a contact. Sometimes they themselves also Redebeduerftige (r) I miss you so 'n some of the volunteer spirit, in the sense. Together make a difference together stand for one thing .. But the people here are actually primaer busy with themselves. The ego is inflated to partially deal. What do Voluntary Service general terms, I once made free from any pressure that I felt the whole time and I've probably also imposed on their own. I always thought to provide any service to have to submit results, because I was under Weltwaerts promotes and yes I was also selected from this or that reason. There was always this feeling, I have to earn the promotion, I must present at the end of something. Even compared to my donors, I saw myself all the time computing production under pressure, without anyone at all at some point something would have approached me worn and probably never will. The pressure was still there. Now he is gone, and it lives and works at once so much easier. I am trying here to see the value of my actions from now on in doing it, in the process, at work in every moment. What results should stand at the end too? And yes also to the people is given not fair to judge such high expectations of them, the project partners, the children, compared to all concerned. Yes, I believe, with my expectations, I was already something wrong. Much too high, too much focus on success. Thus, this does not work, but only here and now. Feel me now this respect 'n pieces easier and freier.Mein whole project, it is running, but still turns out to be difficult. A major problem: communication. It is so incredibly difficult to open up this place (the pagoda), you have to fight for every piece of information always so incredible (eg who then what, when exactly is, how the children are provided, how's looks with donations and what happens to it? Etc. .), and in the end you are receiving more and just as we were Kruemel.Was not say whether some of the children actually HIV infected or not. that they are not there, I heard namely from other places, but because it holds is totally covered, although this is not some minor information. When I consider how I having fun with the kids. And how fast is what happened ... Probably plays well in general with the Vietnamese mentality into it, the more difficult the open talk and discussion on sensitive and problematic issues very much. Much will weggelaechelt. We are basically still in the development and structuring. We are short of ideas at least not and need, we also see. But communication .... Senior Monk Thich Dam Lan is so incredibly difficult to achieve, and there seems to be no other contact, everything goes obviously about them. I'm not always sure if you would like us there are really sometimes feel like an intruder. So it's difficult to start something. With our small nursery we ave, I think, quite beautiful as on the legs. The running, albeit not ideal, because so alittle bit lacking the support of pagodas page. It invites the children from us. And for a constitution in which they are sometimes! This 'n pieces below' n bissel more. Even at the kindergarten around something has to change, otherwise the whole fell. Thu, the kindergarten teacher is already exhausted and will stop in August. I also feel helpless often, but try my best. And I go the fates the children so close, I feel unspeakable pity. If you go to this place every day, it is also difficult to draw a line to turn off simple. Where we try them but to give in kindergarten what they missing out on care. Together with Sj, the pagoda - we at least try - and other groups, we are now discussing ways to improve the situation. What is also very lacking is money. Also, since we are at the superiority of how and what ... The division of labor works in general, actually quite good. I always am and Surya, who went with another organization Weltwaerts always comes in the afternoon. These have local volunteers who come when they have time, because they yes still the way to study or go to school. Now the situation is all the more difficult conditions, because Pruefungszeit. The transfer works thanks to the arguments presented by us is voluntary transfer protocol quite gut.Alles in all, we give us a lot of trouble to try it again and again on 'New. A show of strength is this I have to admit honestly: I am beginning to get tired. The situation in the volunteer house with so many different and constantly changing Menchen confined space, which already creates. And then in a city like Hanoi, always loud, full, and much of everything, phew! And then this bad air. And this hot and humid climate, which is trying to air conditioning systems to make more bearable. Only are the temperature differences then sometimes much too large. Have a cold now the third time really Dolle, and you will not ever's going on, probably because of the bad air. And in the hazy heat and the constant sweating, I'll get used may be never. My whole body is covered with perspiration. And then my difficult project ... I realize that is diluted the given conditions: so gradually it's time for me to go once again back home. I feel somewhat exhausted.
the work of your opinion, is reasonable?
I think that a children's garden on the Bo De pagoda base makes sense, with the right professional guidance and support and volunteers who support the whole, find it but is missing at all corners and ends of money and also Betreuungskapazitaeten. In our specific case, it is now but this: although we have a nursery, a kindergarten teacher, but it is impossible for us in the few hours to give the children what they lack outside from kindergarten. You're still spend most of their time outside of the kindergarten, there needs to be done but also something else the whole thing hinfaellig.Wie said, we can reverse that's not what they lack. These are really important things: kindness, care, hygiene, health, all this will not gewaehrleistet in the mass, as I watch muesste.Was there are slight tendencies neglect, both physical, mental and also emotionally. The children are often in really bad shape, lots of sick. The nurses are overworked, poorly or not educated, some of them are very young, even from well who knows what for worse conditions. A nurse care 4, 5, sometimes 6 children. More of a burden than anything else. And they behave well. Hew much cursing, too. And the children are always more than a week, arriving in the not new kids. The children are so difficult, anxious, agitated, somehow also internally divided, sometimes confused. And they have not even themselves, are more competitors, they compete for food, toys and attention are constantly in dispute. Wir sind eigentlich die meiste Zeit damit beschaeftigt, die Kinder zu beruhigen, Bisswunden abzupusten, Traenen zu trocknen, Streithaehne auseinander zu halten. Ein einziges Gebruelle und Geschrei ist das ganz oft. Ich denke mir, man braeuchte da(vielleicht) richtige Profis, Sozialpaedagogen, Sozialarbeiter etc. Mit jedem Tag, den ich dort hingehe, habe ich immer mehr das Gefuehl, dass ich ihnen eigentlich gar nicht helfen kann, zumindest nicht laengerfristig. Ich kann ihnen z.B. auch gar nichts beibringen oder igendetwas erklaeren, weil ich die Sprache nicht beherrsche. Ich kann mit ihnen Spass machen, rumalbern, aber es ist nur fuer den Moment...
Hast du den Eindruck, dass du während dem Freiwilligendienst etwas über deine eigene Kultur / deine kulturelle Identität lernst?
wenn ja, was?
Hierzu faellt mir grade ein, wie wertvoll doch ein Sozialstaat ist, der die Menschen auch ein Stueck weit auffaengt. Unser Sozialstaat ist ganz bestimmt nicht perfekt, da gibt's auch ganz viele Luecken,da fallen immernoch zu viele Menschen durch, man versucht ja da auch permanent abzudrehen und abzuschrauben . Aber der Gedanke der sozialen Sicherheit vom Gemeinwesen getragen ist ja kein schlechtert. Der Sozialstaat, er ist bei uns ersteinmal da. Und das ist keine Selbstverstaendlichkeit, noch nicht mal in der westlichen Welt.
Und wenn man die Menschen hier so sieht... Z.B. auch im Hinblick auf aerztliche Versorgung. Da hatte sich neulich eine Frau aus 'm Fisher Village his arm broken, very complicated. The woman vearmt total. In the hospital they told her that if it paid, items could do for them, and if they pay a bit more, would it still make really good. We unthinkable, right? What happened here only? Thus, the uncle Ho has certainly not presented ...
I am still what occurred to be discussed: how essential she is and how much it still shapes the own identity. One thinks and feels just very different. Sometimes I feel like I'm a different person when I speak English. So 'n bit ...
Are there things (behaviors, attitudes, etc.) that you have learned from the host culture, or want to learn?
if so, what?
... What can we learn? Hm A certain unconditional, they take you, as you are, loyalty, solidarity, friendship, helpfulness, skill, a certain lightness, spontaneity, laughter
What are-your experience - the most common points of conflict between your culture and the host culture?
communication. It will just communicate differently, much less. The Inforamtionsbedarf is quite different. Many questions are not asked at all. It is already in demand in the run-not so much. Information is often not passed. Often one is faced with a fait accompli. Things happen here anymore, so from 'm currently heraus.Mitunter already difficult.
What has been your most important experiences in the volunteer service?
In the past three months:
- still be here and sovereign still any challenge to master well, more or less,
- miss love Menchen, there is somewhere an empty place, my place (my sister me In a letter written: Sometimes, if you miss a man who seems to have deserted the whole world ...)
- big, bright eyes, innocent Kinderglucksen and laugh, now they know me already and look forward to my coming. ..
(- freedom on two wheels, I and my bike, yes, I'm afraid)
- to be there to do things die die Einheimischen tun, in der Strassenkueche essen, Busfahren, Fahrradfahren, sich generell in Gegenden zu bewegen, wo kein Tourist jemals hinkommen wird, und so wird man dann auch angeschaut, mittlerweile nicht mehr ganz so verwundert...so kommt man den Menschen nah
- magische Momente, die ganz ohne Sprache auskommen, z.B. bot mir neulich eine aeltere Dame im ueberfuellten Bus eine Ecke ihres Einzelsitzes an (wuerde daheim auch keiner machen), und dann sass ich da etwas unbequem, aber das machte nix, und hielt mich am Vordersitz fest, da strich die Dame ploetzlich ueber meine Hand und hielt ihre dunkle Hand dagegen, und wie sie so selig laechelte...
- noch mehr Herzenawaerme, Hilfsbereitschaft, Grosszuegigkeit und Mitgefuehl von vietnamesischer Page as it is in case of illness a DSR, so touching ....
- original Vietnamese life
- for travel through Vietnam and Cambodia have been: beautiful landscapes and fascinating Kulturstaetten, both from the tourist extent shocked, tourism shows the gap between the Western world and the so-called developing countries very much, says Socrates, "Who through travel will be wiser, shall in itself does not take. " Only the few are actually ...
- contemporary familial intimacy, seen fraternal visits
: understanding and comprehension takes time, lots of time. I for one am very glad to have this one year, to understand, to comprehend, zum Verinnerlichen. Aber ich glaube, noch nicht einmal das ist genug....
- "Selbsterkenntnis(se)"
- das Unvermoegen vieler Freiwilliger, sich ein Stueck weit selbst zu ueberwinden, muss man aber in so einem Kontext, wer's nicht kann, sollte zuhause bleiben, manchmal denke ich: Hanoi ist der falsche Ort, denn im Grunde muss man hier auf nix verzichten, kann im Grossen und Ganzen so leben wie zuhause, und das tun dann auch ganz viele
- seinen Platz finden, wenn auch nie ganz, gefuehltes ankommen
- interkulturelle Freundschaften
- ich kann die Welt nicht aendern
Bist Du der Ansicht, dein Aufenthalt wirkt sich aus auf...
a) ...Deine persönliche Entwicklung?
Art der Auswirkung:
... always ran a little closer to yourself if you ever can access completely?
you take here in any case true so incredibly intense, is so incredibly sensitive, I know my limits, accept me, confess me things one, I might end up even more honest with myself, I am learning myself to organize, improvise, "Not" the mother of invention, as the ideas bubbling ... suddenly, by living together with so many different people you get also a pretty good feel for people
b) ... your future plans?
type of impact:
as before: the desire to discover more of the world to go out and learn professionally: like in development cooperation, to imagine and abroad, still want to come back, someday, who knows ...
February Report How satisfied are you overall with the volunteer service?
Comment: From a cultural perspective, I think
time here incredibly enriching. Mnachmal I still have moments where I can not believe that I'm actually here. Daily life I manage very well, I am moving and am very souveraen very well integrated socially are accepted. The situation with the other volunteers here is a great interpersonal challenge, considering how little - comparatively-PRIVACY we have here (one shares inevitably everything, even the things you really do not want (to) share), I succeed but on the whole quite well. Only the lively exchange of people here in the house, which I already do 'n bissel schafffen to constantly have to start from scratch again and again to adjust to each other. I lack a bit of resistance. Even in daily work. Basically, you never know what happened, you have to be always ready for anything. I know that the clocks tick differently here, but somehow I have the feeling, not to be getting anywhere. You have to always fight for everything here really, sometimes moves for weeks nothing. Also it is nimmerzu rely on others to translate for you, you often feel handicapped and helpless because you can not communicate. I miss so 'n some prospects for the pagoda project. I sometimes do not know exactly what SJ wants this project, which was agreed and whether you would like to have us there at all or needs. Sometimes I feel so 'n bissel of SJ ... "Left hanging", the whole thing splashes more or less out in front of you. We have every week LTV meeting where such things are addressed. But it always takes so long until it does what, if at all. Yes, the thing with the organization .... Our two coordinators slope and Xoan sometimes seem totally overwhelmed, stuck up to their necks in work, try it but it always continues to give incredible effort (and I recognize ! Them to unspeakable), but also have their limits erkennen.Aber I think to myself often: they know that's no different, but have little experience himself. And the pagoda project is not a SJ-own project (such as the Youth House) and is based more on cooperation, as it also depends on the cooperation partners. Well, and the pagoda is still first and foremost a Pagoda, a sacred place ... The children and young people are very much involved in the pagoda daily life (eg when it comes to the preparation of rituals or any celebration or ceremony). Then of course, are always quite a lot of visitors and guests there, so we never really got the kids for us. They run from one to the next, are partly ueberschuettet with sweets are anxious to "harness" heavy. I think I understand just what volunteering really means: a continuous effort from within itself, initiative and personal responsibility, prudence, tackling, grab, get involved, do not wait for that one someone says what should be. It is co-founder and co. But sometimes I wonder how far does it go? What is expected of us, what can you expect from us? What we can "afford" at all? And then I ask myself is maybe's in me, if it does not work out? Because I am not committed enough, I am not transferring enough? Because it's not easy enough, what am I doing? Hm .. I want to say that I basically do not lack of motivation and ideas, but it is such an incredible feat, there are always new to's to move. Right now I feel a bit tired, exhausted, got the feel you need a break desperately ...
the work of your opinion, is reasonable?
Comment:
I know still do not. For me creeps still every now and again the feeling that in the actual primary reason for our volunteers is that the project ultimately serve you to "entertain" us, beshaeftigen to ... Hm .. If you do it right would tackle ... I mean we are all not professional and that is, I believe, something what little bit maybe 's missing: the professional monitoring, management, supervision of projects (teachers, social workers, teachers, and right). There is a lack of structures, goals, perspectives, the longer term. What we are doing here is really only for the moment, it seems to me sometimes ...
Did you feel that you learn while volunteering some of your own culture / your cultural identity?
if so, what?
course has such a little chaos quite charming. Rigid structures can indeed sometimes very narrow: one's own thinking, their own creativity and imagination. And yet one must recognize that without structure, without some classification, the reliability and Kontinuitatet creates, but not always and everywhere about. I believe that lies somewhere inside me, the desire for accountability, consistency.
is also amazing how you suddenly start thinking about your own culture, as it has never done before. And then it suddenly, as one's own culture would before a "resurrection". You start to compare to, you would like to tell "how it is with us ..." It states: We are there as a reminder of culture, rituals and traditions, although not in this awareness as that here in Vietnam, where everyone knows everyone really the story behind it ... What exactly is typically German? I do not know exactly how much I actually wear them in me. I think not so much in such categories Hm .... I miss the local bread. And the German language. Yes, I like and I miss ...
Are there things (behaviors, attitudes, etc.) that you have learned from the host culture, or want to learn?
if so, what?
calmness, patience, flexibility, a certain ingenuity or Improvisationsvermoegen, humility, confidence, here-and-now-being-
What are your experience - the most common points of conflict between your culture and host culture?
organization, structure, communication
What has been your most important experiences im Freiwilligendienst ?
- das Ueber-Sich-Hinauswachsen, das Hier-zurecht-zu-kommen, in der Fremde, es zu koennen, von sich ueberrascht sein, bin schon 'n bissel stolz, dass ich mich hier so souveraen bewege, Darf ich das sagen?
- Zeit haben, das Zeitgefuehl verlieren, sich nicht gehetzt, gejagt o. ä. zu fühlen einzig durch den Faktor Zeit
- Mensch sein, erkennen: Unsicherheit und Heimweh sind keine Fragen des Alters, vermissen, wissen, wo man herkommt, Was fuer eine schoene Erfindung die Familie doch ist!
- neue Freundschaften
- die Herausforderung eines sich staendig veraendernden sozialen Umfeldes, des Zusammenlebens mit vielen staendig wechselnden Freiwilligen
-und natuerlich(!): Vietnam and the Vietnamese have already so incredibly much kindness, sincerity, warmth and helpfulness, and all so unconditionally, (eg Tet in the far Vietnam's north with a local family, forgotten!) Experienced
Are you affects the view, your stay an impact on ...
a) ... your personal development?
type of impact:
... to get himself so incredibly close, penetrates the most remote places in his mind, it somehow takes more aware of this unusual context ... many things that you had anticipated having only PRIOR , might admit did not want or could not be clearer, confirm, suddenly you find yourself also check out for a completely unfamiliar roles again, I think you will somehow humane, indulgent, SOUL, because in everyday life all human touch so, so beautiful, "imperfect", "inakurat", "unreasonable" or whatever one of judging from our Western point of view presumes is ... maybe I will also internally to be a little to rest, learn more at the moment to use it ...
b) ... your future plans?
type of impact:
the desire to discover more of the world, to go out and learn professionally: you in development cooperation, perhaps even come back at some point ...
just before the cold season and therefore before the next heating season should be allowed to examine its own building in detail. The best you hire a building surveyor, who uses as a thermal imaging camera. Whether cold spots or botched construction, both of which can be discovered with this camera. The camera shows an image of the house to which it is addressed. On display is not the actual building itself, but only different colored areas that indicate how warm it is in some places. This makes it possible for the building surveyor then easily keep track of the points at which escapes on the facade of warmth. 
